My day with Scott Kiloby and his “Unfindable You”

Michael and Scott Kiloby 2-15-13

I spent today at Scott Kiloby’s workshop in Santa Monica, CA and he took us indepth into his “unfindable self” inquiry by having us all do it (23 of us). I found the “teaching” direct, practical, and a great “tool” for when you are stuck or spinning, and can’t seem to get “unstuck.”

The first point is that it is designed to be used on real situations when you are actually suffering, as opposed to “what if’s” or”theoreticals.” So, for example, in the thought, “I am depressed,” if you just look at the words alone, the actual physical letters one by one, do you see YOU actually in them? In other words, is the “YOU” that is depressed actually in the words themselves?

No. They are just words. Pure words, no YOU who is suffering somehow inside them. YOU are what is aware of, or the space for, the words. And so next we move on to the feeling you are experiencing, sans words. And, again, you try to find the YOU that “is feeling depressed”, but you just can’t do it. It’s 100% feeling, and there is no “you” insight! (And in fact during the workshop today, I noticed that the energy that I felt inside which I labeled “fatigue” wasn’t calling itself that! It was simply energy that feels the way it feels. It was my mind that was labeling that sensation as “fatigue.”

Scott calls this the “velcro effect,” where your words (the story you are telling yourself over and over) “velcro” or stick to a feeling, thus giving them a description they do not inherently possess. Basically you are believing what the thought is telling you just because it’s telling it to you and NOT because its TRUE!

It’s like we are taking something personal that isn’t ours to begin with. Eventually you come to see that you can’t find “You” in anything! But the strength of this inquiry does not reveal itself until you actually take the time to do. Just reading it won’t do it. (Which is why Scott has several skilled facillatators that people can get coaching from.)

You can check out Scott’s website at:

Michael Jeffreys

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