The First Step to Awakening: Admitting You Don’t Want to Awaken!

Dreaming II

The first step to awakening: Admit that YOU DO NOT WANT TO AWAKEN!! (Father Anthony De Mello was the first person I ever heard say this, and the moment he said it something in me knew it was true.)

Realize that a part of you (mostly unconscious) enjoys the dream and is not ready to give it up. Even if consciously you say, “Yes Michael, I really want to awaken.” Bullshit. You are still identified with maya, and like a drug, are not ready to give it up. Like in AA, admitting that you are addicted to the dream world is the first step to recovery!

When I was discussing this with a friend of mine last night, about it all being a dream, at least he was honest when he said:

“I guess in some ways I still see it as a helpful ‘metaphor’ — not completely accepting it as the way it truly is. I can see it on many levels but probably not completely. I still want to go play tennis and go out on dates as though they’re ‘real’.”

He suspects this is all a dream, but because it pulls the rug out from underneath everything he has spent his life “working for/towards,” it’s just too much to fully accept right now.

Yet, we use phrases like, “It felt like a bad dream…” or, “I couldn’t wait for the nightmare to be over…” or, “And in what dream universe are you living in?”, but in a half-hearted, sort of joking way to keep it at a safe distance.

Either this is a dream or it’s not. Either its ALL real or none of it is. If it is a dream, than death is in fact illusory as well. Again, you can’t have it both ways… well, actually you can… because in a dream, ANYTHING is possible.

You will know when the “shift” has occurred because when the “world” is seen as a dream projection of the ONE unconscious insanely guilty (guilty for imagining it has turned its back on god, even though this is not possible) egoic Mind (without any caveats, exceptions, or “yeah buts…”), there is a lightness and ease in every moment, regardless of circumstances, regardless of what you are doing.

Even if you are sick or suffering, or in pain, there is still enough space where even that is seen as part of the dream. And the running negative commentary that most of us have in our head goes silent… because it has been replaced with a knowing silence and inner love and light that the world, the dream, can never give you.

“Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of god.” -ACIM

-Michael Jeffreys

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8 Responses

  1. Becoming completely honest with yourself is necessary to wake up. Thanks for posting DeMellow. He is one of my favorites.

  2. Hi Michael. What happens when someone we love in the dream dies? Is that simply the harsh reality of the dream world that they pass into nothingness forever? In ‘my’ dream I’ve never died, so I can accept that we’re just told that we die and we then accept it as gospel, even though we’ve never actually experienced consciousness die. But the question then remains about the people in the dream. Let’s face it, we love the people closest to us in this dream.

    • Hi Jack, When you have a dream at night and someone you love dies, when you wake up in the morning are you sad? No, because you know they didn’t actually die, Right? Also, you might like a book by Anita Moorjani called “Dying to be me”. You can also search her on youtube. I think your idea of reality and nothingness will change when you awaken. “Nothingness” is no-thing, but it is intelligent and full, not empty. I hope this helps.

      • Thanks Stephan, Some interesting insights there alright.

  3. Jack: “What happens when someone we love in the dream dies?”

    Michael: As happens so often Jack, the answer is in your question. If they are in the dream then they too are dream. It’s ALL a dream and ALL doesn’t leave anything out. When you make a U turn and go silently within, you will not find a “you” in there. And if there is no “you,” than there can be no “others.” That leaves nothing experiencing everything which is really nothing. Thus the expression, “Nothing ever happened.” 🙂

    • I had missed your earlier article ‘Blame it on them’. I think if I had seen that I wouldn’t have needed to ask this question. Thanks for the clarity on everything.

  4. Hi Michael,

    What a succinct answer to an age old question. The answer is aways to first forgive ourselves for not wanting it.

  5. I really don’t want to awaken but it is still happening. We have no control over it anyway but it doesn’t stop people from trying. Trying to get something else inside the illusion they call “enlightenment.” The scary part is when we know we are about to let go of the illusion of enlightenment and really wake up from all of it. My hardest moment was letting go of the illusion of free will.

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