The first step to awakening is to admit that you don’t want to awaken! I am serious. Look, and you may just see that a part of your Being is actively enthralled with the illusion… with wanting to figure it out as well as make the experience nicer, shinier, better. What not so subtle message does this send to your brain about the present moment?
Do you see? Your programming has set up the game so that you cannot allow yourself to be happy in the present moment! The programming is already convinced that THIS moment does not hold what it thinks will make it happy… and so, surprise, surprise… no happiness! Quite ingeniously really, the programming doesn’t care WHAT you think, as ANY thought keeps you from discovering its secret! The search itself is taking you away from your own happiness!! Why do you think you haven’t found it yet? Don’t you think if it were really “out there” you would have found it by now after, say 10, 20, 30 or 50 years? If just 10% of that time were spent looking inward and being still, the matter would have been settled by now.